She Forgot Me for Bundad Today (Spoiled Furball)
Bundad spoils her rotten and she forgets I exist. Treats from him, side-eye for me. I pretended to be jealous, she pretended not to notice. This post is the diary of a two-human household negotiating fairness with a bunny queen as the electorate. Personal household comedy, not relationship or pet-care advice. Two humans, one bunny queen. The diary keeps us honest.
The jealousy log: three exhibits
Exhibit A, Tuesday: Bundad feeds morning greens; I clean the litter corner. Evening allegiance: his lap, my side-eye. Exhibit B, Thursday: Bundad gives extra parsley (against treaty, see below); I administer the nail-check. Evening allegiance: his shoulder, my invisible status. Exhibit C, Sunday: I feed AND treat; Bundad does the brushing. Evening allegiance: my lap for a full hour, evidence that presence plus snacks beats snacks alone. Pattern filed: she tracks who does the pleasant tasks, ignoring the labor split entirely.
My fairness log and the treaty
- Who fed, who petted, who cleaned today, logged nightly, one line each, no exceptions
- Same treat rules for both humans, extra treats require co-signature (a look counts as signature)
- One quiet minute with me before dinner, my promised constituency surgery, non-transferable
Turns out this is universal: one human does meds and nail trims, the other just feeds. Guess who gets loved. I am renegotiating chore splits this week so the love gets redistributed fairly. New split proposal on the fridge: unpleasant tasks alternate weekly (nails me this week, him next), treats stay joint, brushing rotates. Bundad signed with a sigh. Early results: two evenings this week she split time 30-30, the treaty’s first dividends. The queen remains uncommitted long-term, as is her royal prerogative. Spoiled furball status: confirmed, bipartisan, permanent.
Diplomatic notes
What jealousy taught this household: track labor or resent the electorate. The fairness log takes 60 seconds and ended three separate sulks (two mine, one his). Bundad’s spoiling continues within treaty limits, regulated spoiling, like daylight saving for affection. My quiet minute before dinner holds: same cushion, same hand, no agenda. Some nights she stays ten; some nights she leaves for him mid-minute and the diary records defeat honestly. Two humans, one queen, one log. Democracy with whiskers.
Treaty amendments and election forecast
Amendment one (passed unanimously): brushing counts as pleasant labor, whoever brushes gets evening credit, ending the brushers’ disadvantage. Amendment two (passed after debate): medication duty earns double credit plus a treat amnesty, the February ear-drop saga nearly broke the union. Amendment three (Bundad’s proposal, ratified): surprise snacks are legal if shared with the Kommission (me) within the hour, secret snacking caused March’s great side-eye incident. Election forecast: the queen’s allegiance polls 50-50 this week, up from 30-70 last month. My quiet minute holds the base; his morning greens hold his. Swing voters (evening flops) lean whoever sits stiller. Campaign strategies differ honestly: he campaigns with parsley volume, I campaign with consistent calm. Pundits (my mother) predict a late surge for whoever cleans less. The diary covers the election nightly, fair, logged, loving. May the stillest human win.
State visit report
Yesterday’s full protocol observed: I fed breakfast (credit), Bundad cleaned (no credit loss, scheduled swap), I held the quiet minute (base secured), Bundad produced surprise strawberry top (treaty-compliant, shared). Result: split evening, 40-40, 20 minutes joint couch time with both humans, a coalition government. First coalition in diary history, photographed and framed mentally. The queen approved by flopping across both laps simultaneously, a constitutional marvel. Two humans, one bunny queen, zero losers. Entry of the month, starred twice.
Press release from the palace (interpreted): the queen acknowledges both humans, appreciates regulated spoiling, and will continue distributing evenings according to inscrutable royal criteria. Favorite human polls remain neck-and-neck; the crown (imaginary, enormous) sits lightly. Treaty compliance this month: full, both sides, verified by log. The fairness diary enters its third month with zero unresolved grievances and one framed coalition photo. Royal watchers note: side-eye incidents down 80% since the chore split. The kingdom prospers under shared rule.
Final entry this week: Monday split 35-35 with 20 joint, Tuesday his 50 (strawberry top incident, treaty-compliant), Wednesday mine 60 (quiet minute stretched to fifteen, no complaint from the crown). Weekly average: dead even, first time ever. The fairness log works, not by making love equal, which is unmakable, but by making labor visible, which is everything. Two humans, one queen, honest books. Election certified: tie, both winners, bunny abstains from comment and claims both laps.
Correspondents note: other two-human houses confirm the pattern, meds-and-nails human versus treats human, love follows the snacks until labor goes visible. Publish the log, share the chores, split the queen. Field reports welcome; the treaty travels well.
One queen, two staff, full transparency. The palace logs on.
Minutes logged, queen unbothered.
Fairness logged nightly; love follows snacks and stillness both.
Logged.
Both humans logging; queen reigning peacefully tonight.
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