📅 Saturday, 23 May 2026 · No. 65

He Throws My Bedside Things to Get Attention

💤 Behavior Diaries · ✎ 4 min · by Azmi in Meknes

Azmi's note My personal log from Meknes, not vet advice. Just what I did and saw tonight.

New trick unlocked: he throws things off my bedside table to get my attention. Remote, book, charger, all fair game. Annoying? Deeply. Cute? Unfairly. This post is the security audit plus the attention economics behind it: incident inventory, the anti-throw system, and why scheduled attention costs less than stolen remotes. Personal household log, not training advice. He found a new way to annoy me and I cannot even be mad. That is the whole trick.

Incident inventory: the fallen

Week one casualties: TV remote (twice, batteries ejected once, impressive), paperback (bookmark lost, page lost, dignity lost), phone charger (dragged by cable, unplugged mid-charge), reading glasses case (empty, thankfully), one unfortunate glass of water (the incident that built the system). Method: nose-push to the edge, pause for effect, release. Timing: exclusively when I read past his bedtime, 22:00 onward, the data is unambiguous. The house theory stands: vegan cats, or cats are carnivorous rabbits. Either way fluff is now everywhere and the bedside table is cleared nightly. His ears alone end all arguments, the look after each drop dares discipline and wins.

My anti-throw system and attention economics

Nothing breakable within nose reach, ever, glass banished, ceramics relocated, table cleared to lamp-plus-book (book secured spine-in)
Attention on schedule so he asks less, 21:30 dedicated sit, 15 minutes, preempts 80% of incidents by my count
Log each new trick with date and photo, the trick archive now holds 6 entries; this one is the flagship

Attention economics, computed: 15 scheduled minutes prevent roughly 30 minutes of retrieval-plus-resetting nightly. The scheduled sit happens on his terms (floor level, see the room-corner protocol), and throw incidents fell from nightly to twice weekly. Remaining incidents cluster on late-reading nights, my fault, logged honestly. Related custody battle: the bed takeover (same territory, daytime edition). The table stays cleared, the sit stays scheduled, the ears end all arguments. Annoying? Deeply. Managed? Mostly.

Throw physics and the bedtime treaty

Throw physics, studied: nose-push range 30 cm (remote), drag range 1 meter (charger cable), drop accuracy onto my pillow 2 of 5 attempts (deliberate? filed as suspected). Schedule analysis: incidents cluster 22:00-22:30, the reading-past-bedtime window, earlier bedtimes (21:30 lights-out week, tested) cut incidents to zero for five straight nights. The bedtime treaty, ratified: lights low 21:30, scheduled sit 21:30-21:45, reading in bed only after (bunny settled, table safe). Compliance: mine mostly, his entirely (he enforces with projectiles). Late-reading violations logged honestly (3 this month, 5 items fallen). The treaty holds because both sides profit: he gets attention on schedule, I keep my charger plugged. Annoying deeply, cute unfairly, managed finally. Ears end arguments; schedules prevent them.

Throw hall of fame and retirement planning

Hall of fame entries: the battery ejection (technical merit), the water glass (courage, consequences), the glasses case (precision landing on pillow, suspected deliberate), the book with lost page (collateral damage, page found in hay rack). Retirement outlook: incidents declining since the treaty (nightly to twice weekly), projected phase-out by summer if bedtimes hold. The trick archive’s flagship entry remains active but fading, like all great artworks, temporary. Successor tricks watched: rug digging (emerging), curtain sniffing (early stages), 5am hallway sprints (established, separate department). The bedside era will be remembered fondly and cleared nightly. Remote safe, charger plugged, ears victorious. Trick evolution continues; the table stays clear.

Treaty compliance report

Monthly compliance: bedtimes kept 24 of 30 nights, scheduled sits held 26 of 30, incidents 8 (down from 22 pre-treaty, 64% reduction, graphed proudly). Violations mine, all three categories: late reading (5), forgotten sit (1), unsecured glass (1, never again, the water incident scarred us both). Enforcement: self-administered guilt plus projectile reminders. Treaty benefits realized: charger always plugged, remote locatable, sleep uninterrupted, ears still victorious (conceded permanently). The economics final: 15 scheduled minutes buy 8 incident-free nights of 10. Cheapest attention in the house. Treaty renewed monthly by mutual flop. Annoying managed, cute eternal, table clear.

Nightly clearance report: table cleared, lamp secured, book spine-in, charger plugged, ears acknowledged. Incidents tonight: zero (bedtime kept, sit held). The treaty delivers its quiet dividend: an undisturbed evening and a flopped bunny by 22:00. Managed deeply, cute unfairly, table clear permanently-ish. Audit closed.

Bedside secured; treaty holding; ears reigning. The cleared table gleams nightly, the charger stays plugged, the remote survives. Eight incidents monthly beats twenty-two; scheduled sits beat retrieval missions. Attention economics validated; cuteness unregulated. Table clear, mostly.

Projectiles retired, mostly. The treaty holds on scheduled sits and cleared tables. Bedtime keeps, charger charges, remote rests. Deeply annoying history; unfairly cute present; managed future. Ears adjourn the meeting.

Clearance verified nightly: lamp, book, charger, ears. The bedside stands ready for sleep, not siege. Treaty cities sleep peacefully; projectile days fade into legend. Managed, mostly, mutually. Ears last word, always.

Table cleared; treaty kept.

Managed nightly; cute always.

Bedside treaty renewed nightly.

I moved the charger cable behind the lamp tonight and left one sacrificial paperback near the edge for negotiations. He inspected the new arrangement twice, approved it with a flop, and stole my sleeve instead.

🐰

Written by Azmi

I track my rabbits' diet, weight and naps to see what works. Photos are mine, mess included. Say hi on the contact page.

← prev / next →What Is He Trying to Say? Wrong Answers OnlySeventh Birthday: Photos From the Day We Met