Oops, Bonk: Clumsy Hour and a Tank-Built Bunny
Clumsy hour struck: a soft bonk during play, totally unintentional. He shook it off like a tank, gave me a look, then demanded a treat as compensation. This is my accident report: what happened, what I checked, what changed in the room, filed the same evening. Personal log, not veterinary guidance: I describe only what I saw and did; for any real knock, limp, or behavior change the vet gets called first and the log waits. He is okay, the rest of this post is how I made sure and what moved.
Incident: 17:20, the hammer zone
Setup: I was assembling the cardboard castle extension (bunstruction, hence the helmet rule’s origin). A paper-wrapped tube tipped from the couch arm as he binkied underneath, soft bonk on the back, more surprise than force. His response: freeze two seconds, ear shake, look at me (the look: profound disappointment), then nose-press my hand demanding the treat that protocol requires. Compensation rendered: flower heads, five. What I did next, in order: play stopped, room quieted, him observed without touching for 10 minutes.
My safety check (observation only)
- Checked nose, teeth, hopping, all normal: nose clean and dry as usual, front teeth aligned as always, three test hops across the rug straight and willing
- Short rest, water nearby, watched one hour: flopped at 17:40 (normal timing), drank at 17:50, ate hay at 18:00, the routine reasserted itself
- Logged what fell and moved it away: the tube now lives on the floor, never above bunny height; couch-arm staging banned during play
Safety audit: corrective actions
Moved the hammer zone: all assembling now happens in the hallway with the door closed, bunny admitted only at the grand opening. Padded the corner: the chair leg that hosted two previous near-misses wears a towel sleeve permanently. Helmet rule stays official during bunstruction, the rule states: no building above bunny height while bunny present, hard hat (mine, the joke one from Hat Day) worn by the builder as a reminder, not protection. He is fine, tank-built, and already demanded double treats for the trauma, second payment rendered in parsley, case closed. Everyone is rehired: the builder (me, on probation), the inspector (him, promoted), the tube (demoted to floor duty). Clumsy hour ends 18:00 with hay and a flop. Audit signed, treats doubled, room safer.
Reconstruction: the tube’s testimony
Evidence re-examined next morning: the tube (paper, 30 cm, negligible mass), the trajectory (couch arm to rug, 50 cm drop), the victim’s position (directly below, mid-binky, worst timing, best story). Conclusion: pure accident, physics plus enthusiasm. Similar near-misses audited across the room: the book stack (moved to the shelf same evening), the water bottle ledge (relocated to floor level), the curtain tieback (already bunny-proofed in March). The room now holds zero above-bunny staging during play, the audit’s headline reform. Treat economics of the incident: compensation 5 flower heads, trauma bonus in parsley (doubled on demand), total cost one handful. Worth every strand: the look alone deserved flowers, and the look after flowers (forgiven, flopped) deserved the photo that closes this post’s memory.
Bunstruction code, revised edition
Article one: no building above bunny height while bunny present, hallway construction zone, door closed, grand openings scheduled. Article two: the inspector approves all structures before use (sniff test, chin test, flop test, three stamps). Article three: helmet rule stays official, builder wears the joke hard hat during all bunstruction as a visible reminder of 17:20. Article four: post-incident treats are mandatory and doubled on request, no questions asked. Since the code: two castles built, zero bonks, one inspector napping inside each structure within the hour (approval by occupancy). The tank remains unbumped, the builder remains careful, the treats remain doubled. Safety is a system with hay in it.
Aftermath: treats, trust, and the look
The look deserves its own paragraph: head slightly tilted, one ear forward, eyes holding mine, disappointment mixed with expectation, the exact expression of a creature who knows compensation is customary. It appears at every minor inconvenience now (late hay: the look; moved tunnel: the look; rain sounds: the look). I have started photographing the look as its own series, six frames, escalating intensity, the March 11th doorbell look still reigning champion. Post-bonk week behavior: play resumed same evening (good), binkies normal next day (great), treat demands permanently elevated (expected, precedent set, no appeals). The trauma is fully processed through flowers and parsley. Tank status: confirmed, dent-free, demanding.
Final audit signature: incident closed, room reformed, code revised, treats doubled. The tube serves floor duty, the hat sits on the builder, the inspector naps in the castle. Bonk lessons filed under bunstruction, cross-referenced under compensation. Build on, carefully, the tank supervises all works from here forward.
Case closed, builder careful, tank compensated in full.
Tank approved this message with a nose press and double flowers.
Helmet on, always.
Rehired, all.
Bonk-free since.
Safe.
Sound.
Steady.Next in this chapter…
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