My Night Watchman Stares at the Wall for an Hour
Some evenings he sits on the bed edge and stares at the wall. Or in the doorway, watching the next room like a tiny guard. Is he keeping watch? Seeing ghosts? I logged it either way. This post is the duty roster of my night watchman: shifts, posts, and incident-free weeks. Personal humor log, not behavior advice, for thumping marathons or sudden fear I would call a vet. Here: the guard’s record.
Shift schedule: 20:00 to 07:00
Post one, the doorway: 20:00 to 22:00, facing the hallway, ears up. Logged 11 of 14 evenings. Post two, the bed edge: 22:00 to midnight, facing the wall (the wall gets the longest stares, 40+ minutes twice, reason unknown, logged without theories). Post three, anywhere: midnight to dawn, roving, camera catches tile-loaf and hide-rotation between patrols. What I checked when the habit started: same spot, same hour? Pattern yes, doorway 20:15 ± 20 minutes most nights. Ears up + still = alert, thump = worried, the distinction taped to my notebook: stillness is duty, thumps are alarms. No new sounds or smells I could find, I did the full sweep: windows, pipes, hallway, nothing.
Week log: incidents none, presence total
Same doorway, same hour, guarding while I sleep. No thumps, so no worries. Week one: 6 doorway shifts, 1 bed-edge special (the hour-long wall session of the title, 21:05 to 22:10, unbroken, legendary). Week two: 5 and 2, plus one roving night after the windy evening. My tiny bodyguard takes the night shift and stares down the hallway ghosts for both of us. Verdict in my diary: bodyguard on duty. Priest not called. Ghost protocol, established: stare acknowledged with a nod, never interrupted (one interrupted stare ended the shift early and moved it to 2am, my fault, logged), hallway light left on low for the guard’s convenience. The camera’s night stills double as patrol verification: 02:10 hay break (all guards eat), 04:30 tile post. Two stills, one line, every dawn.
Commendations and quarters
Commended: the hour wall session (focus beyond duty), the storm night double shift (wind rattling, guard posted anyway), the 2am hallway patrol caught on camera mid-stride. Quarters inspection: doorway clear of clutter always (his post, my responsibility), wall free of new marks (staring leaves no trace, verified), bed edge blanket folded (parade ground kept). Relief schedule: none needed, the guard never sleeps on duty, only between shifts, in the sun, loudly. I sleep better knowing the hallway is watched; whether anything watches back is above my pay grade. The roster continues nightly. All quiet on the doorway front.
Patrol verification: camera cross-check
The pet camera doubles as the guard’s supervisor: night stills timestamp every patrol without extra effort. Cross-checked month: doorway posts visible in 11 of 14 night stills, bed-edge post in 4, roving tile patrol in 6 (some nights double-posted). The 02:10 hay break appears in the log 11 of 14 nights, even guards eat, regulation snack. Discrepancies: two nights the guard abandoned the doorway for the rug at 21:00 sharp (warm evenings, comfort outranks duty, no demerits). Commendation upgrade: the hour wall session now has camera corroboration (21:05 doorway arrival, 22:10 departure, one hay break mid-watch, professionalism). False alarms this month: zero thumps, zero stomps, one 3am sneeze (mine, not his, the camera caught me checking, the log caught my embarrassment).
Relief roster and retirement planning
Relief guards: none appointed, the post is his and he knows it. Trainee program proposed (the foster girl shadowing doorway sits twice), results pending, mentorship unconfirmed. Retirement planning: none discussed; at his age the night shift is light duty and he volunteers. My duties as the guard’s quartermaster: doorway clutter-free (nightly check), hallway bulb on low (his working light), bed-edge blanket folded (parade ground), nod of acknowledgment per stare (morale). Total quartermaster time: 3 minutes nightly, best-spent minutes of my evening. The hallway stays watched, the ghosts stay unidentified, the log stays open. All quiet, the finest three words in security work.
Ghost log: unidentified staring incidents
Three staring sessions defy pattern: Tuesday 21:40 at the blank wall (40 minutes, no sound found), Friday 20:05 at the ceiling corner (15 minutes, spider discovered next morning, case solved retroactively, commendation amended), Sunday 22:30 at the closed window (curtain, moonlight, possible moth, verdict: moth probable). The ghost log holds these separately from duty shifts: duty is scheduled, ghosts are unscheduled. Policy on ghosts: log, don’t solve (except spiders, spiders get relocated and logged). Belief status: officially undecided, operationally unbothered. The watchman stares; I write; the house sleeps. If ghosts exist, they are well-guarded against. If not, the hallway enjoys excellent supervision anyway. Either way the roster holds and the pencil stays sharp.
Standing orders, revised: stare on, thump never (unless warranted, the guard judges, I log), hallway lit, doorway clear. The night watchman holds every post from dusk to dawn and draws no pay but hay. Relief: unnecessary. Replacement: unthinkable. The wall may never explain itself; the guard will never explain himself. Watch continues.
Post held.
Watch on.
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