Banana Monster: Cheeks In, Butt Twitch On
Affectionately: my little bunny monster. He went bananas for the banana tonight, cheeks sucked in like a cartoon, hilarious and perfect. Tiny sugary bit only, then the show. This post stages the treat ceremony: the serving, the face in three angles, the butt-twitch log, and the rare-treat policy. Personal treat log, not diet advice, sugary treats follow my vet’s guidance in tiny rare portions; here I log reactions, not rations. Cheeks-in eating face photographed from three angles for research. He is perfect and he knows it.
The ceremony: serving protocol
Fruit: thumbnail-size, rare days only, a coin-sized coin of banana, monthly at most, served after hay dinner (dessert position, never appetizer). Presentation: on the saucer, same spot, announced softly (he arrives before the announcement finishes, hearing tuned to treat frequencies). Consumption: 30 seconds, cheeks sucked in cartoon-tight from first bite, eyes half closed in concentration. Hay first, always, monster or not, the rule that keeps treats as treats: full hay dinner logged before any fruit appears, no exceptions across two years. Log the butt twitch: banana is the only trigger, documented across every treat in the house (apple: no twitch; parsley: happy wiggle, different move; pellet: businesslike).
The twitch log and three-angle study
Twitch mechanics: cheeks in, rear twitch twice (left-right-left), resume chewing, the sequence never varies, timed at 8 seconds post-bite across 6 banana nights. Other houses confirm: bananas are the sole butt-twitch evoker. Science has spoken, multi-household survey says unanimous (sample: friends, 4 houses, all reporting twitches exclusive to banana). Three-angle study: front (cheeks caved, whiskers forward), side (jaw working overtime), rear three-quarter (twitch captured mid-wiggle, the money shot). Banana impact close-up filed; post-banana bliss documented (flop within minutes, contentment maximum). Compare with my hand-feeding trials (daily greens, no twitch ever) and the lettuce-days scores (hearts loved, twitch absent). Banana stands alone: cheeks in, butt twitch on.
Rare-treat policy and multi-house data
Rare-treat policy, posted: fruit monthly maximum, thumbnail portions, post-hay timing, vet-aware always (sugar questions go to checkups, logged there). Policy history: banana nights 6 in two years, each logged with twitch confirmation (6 of 6, perfect record). Other rare treats trialed: apple slice (eaten politely, no twitch), strawberry tip (sniffed, abandoned, filed), blueberry (batted around, played with more than eaten, toy reclassification). Multi-house data expands the science: 4 households reporting, banana twitches unanimous, no other trigger found anywhere. The cheeks-in face photographed across houses (shared album, comedy gold). Monster nights scheduled: roughly quarterly, anticipated keenly, executed precisely. Cheeks in, butt twitch on, the phenomenon holds across homes, months, and bananas. Research ongoing; monsters adorable.
Monster lore and fan club
Nicknames earned: banana monster (primary), cheeks (dinner call), twitch-butt (veterinary waiting room, whispered). Fan club: household all, plus two converted friends (shown the three-angle study, melted). Merchandising: none (the face cannot be improved upon). Next monster night: scheduled with the next banana purchase (monthly shop, fruit section, anticipation building). He is perfect and he knows it, confidence documented across 6 ceremonies, never misplaced. Tiny sugary bit only, then the show, the format holds, the twitch delivers, the diary glows. Monster forever, banana quarterly.
Monster-night economics: banana cost per ceremony (single coin, monthly shop), twitch yield per coin (one full sequence, 8 seconds), joy ROI incalculable. Ceremony calendar: quarterly monster nights plus spontaneous banana windfalls (overripe rescue banana, waste prevention doubles as celebration). Guest ceremonies: two hosted (witnesses briefed on twitch-watching, reactions recorded, delight universal). The monster’s scheduleSyncs with shopping: banana week announced in advance (anticipation thread in the diary), ceremony night logged same-evening. Six ceremonies down, lifetime to go. Cheeks in every time; twitch on every time; monster perfect every time. Research continues; bananas ripen; diary waits.
Monster mythology, household canon: the cheeks that launched a thousand photos (three angles standard, more on request), the twitch heard round the room (audible cheek-smack plus rear wiggle), the bliss flop finale (contentment certified). Canon entries: six ceremonies, six twitches, six flops, perfect record across two years. Apocrypha (unverified, beloved): the phantom twitch (reported once mid-hay, unconfirmed), the double twitch (claimed, awaiting evidence). Canon law: thumbnail portions, quarterly cadence, vet-aware always. Monster forever; banana quarterly; cheeks eternal. Research funded by joy; published in flops.
Ceremony closed: saucer licked clean (dessert protocol complete), cheeks released (normal shape restored), flop achieved (bliss certified). Till next quarter: hay dinners nightly, twitch memories fondly, bananas ripening patiently. Monster sleeps; diary glows; research continues. Tiny sugary bit, enormous joy, the exchange rate holds across all six ceremonies. Perfect and knowing it, forever.
Monster file closed for the quarter: six ceremonies logged, twitches unanimous, cheeks iconic. Next banana purchase circled on the shopping list (ceremony anticipated). He is perfect; the diary concurs officially. Research funded entirely by joy.
Cheeks in, twitch on, bliss assured. Monster night complete.
Monster forever; banana quarterly; cheeks eternal.
Perfect.
Monster night.
Showtime.
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